Lesson 87

How Do I Build Up My Marriage And Still Deal With The Pain?

“Building up your marriage means to be intentional about giving 100% to your husband,” stated Jennifer on their healing journey. “It was not until significant healing happened to my heart that I understood my husband’s deep desire to be accepted, affirmed, and respected. I now enjoy praying over him, affirming him, and appreciating him.”

The one thing that jump-started building up Jennifer’s marriage during their recovery was joining a Christian couples program. The central purpose of the program was to help them process their hurts as a couple and as individuals. It was a form of biblical counseling that focused on emotional and spiritual issues. “They gave us practical tools and disciplines that we can use that are all Christ-centered,” Jennifer recalled. “Opening ourselves to a ministry that taught us not to trivialize pain was unlike anything we had heard at church where we were often chastised to forgive instantly. By inviting Jesus into our pain, we clearly experienced Him in our hurt and our healing.”

This process moved Jennifer and her husband forward to a whole new way of experiencing marriage. “When I began to witness my husband’s consistency and watch him meet regularly with his accountability group, I knew he was serious about earning my trust over time. He spent time with the Lord and wrote in his journal. It has been several years now, and although it has not been rainbows and sunshine every day, I have witnessed for myself the drastic restoration the Lord has brought into my husband’s heart and in our marriage.”