Lesson 40

What can I do when my husband’s sins fill my mind?

It is easy to get stuck in our pain. The pain is real and we must process our emotions. Yet knowing that we need to control our thought life, we must always keep our eyes on the Savior and His purpose for our lives. We as believers have the Holy Spirit within us to lead and guide us when we place our faith and trust in Jesus Christ. However, the Holy Spirit will only control our minds if we give Him full access by surrendering completely to our Lord, holding nothing back. The spiritual disciplines of daily prayer and time in the Word are part of that, but there is also the matter of what else we allow in. As the world around us spirals downward into moral decay, we need to be very careful about what we allow into our minds. This takes self-discipline to be discerning about what we watch, read, and talk about. The advice of the world is often at odds with biblical principles.

In the early days of dealing with her husband’s sexual sins, Danielle was overwhelmed with thoughts about what he’d seen and done: when, where, with whom, how often, and so forth. “I felt like I was sinking into a dark, putrid hole. One morning, I clearly heard the still, small voice of God telling me to ‘stop wallowing in his filth.’ Instead of allowing his sin to fill my mind, I had to let it go and let the Holy Spirit cleanse my thoughts.” The key verse that helped guide her was Philippians 4:8 – “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”