Lesson 42

How can I do a better job of controlling my tongue?

Controlling our tongues can keep us out of a lot of trouble. There are times when we say too much; other times, too little. And it’s very easy to say the wrong things or with a wrong attitude. Beth realized early on in her marriage that she was not as articulate as her husband. “I’m an introvert and need to process. He’s more emotional and relational than I am. So I’ve learned that starting with questions (such as, What do you think about this? or I was wondering if you noticed this?) and letting him lead in the conversation is more productive. I try to build on his words rather than try to blurt out mine before they are well thought through.”

Beth’s advice is for wives and husbands to spend some time thinking about and discussing their respective communication styles and then to consider how to make the time as effective as possible when they need to express concerns with one another. Communication can build up the relationship when handled well or deteriorate the bonds of matrimony when handled poorly.

When Beth was asked to described a godly woman she knows who controls her tongue well, she responded: “My best friend has an amazing way of refraining from negativity. Even if she’s frustrated with family issues or work, she always has a way of staying empathetic or encouraging. She’s very understanding and I always feel uplifted when we spend time together.”