Lesson 50

How important is it to set limits for fantasy?

God calls us to follow Him. Once we have accepted the free gift of salvation through Jesus Christ, then we are called upon to be obedient to God’s Word. Wives hurting from their husbands’ inappropriate sexual behavior usually desire that they seek a life of purity, free from sexual sin. The same is required of wives: holiness and obedience to God’s Word for one’s heart, mind, and body – whether or not your husband is seeking purity for himself.

Setting those limits for yourself has to do with fantasy thoughts or relationships with others, especially men other than your husband. Rebecca established boundaries for herself when she got married. “Escapism in romance novels or other fantasies has not been a temptation for me. I believe that fantasies have the potential to make one discontented and don’t reflect life’s realities. For example, in every marriage the toilets still need to be cleaned and the bills have to be paid. Any marriage might look fantastic, but there are no guarantees it is as perfect as it looks. (Look at the lives people post on social media that don’t always match reality.)

“If I ever notice a man slightly interested in me, I go out of my way to avoid interactions beyond essential business-like connections if they are needed at work. I believe that unfaithfulness can have its origins in friendships, so I don’t have any separate male friends. My husband and I have mutual friends (male and female) that we see together. I have also found that concentrating on what I love about my husband helps me, along with being thankful for him and all he does. Otherwise it can become easy to focus on the problems resulting in negative thoughts.”