Lesson 54

How Can We Become A Team To Resolve Conflicts?

Danielle and her husband have been great friends throughout their marriage except for the conflicts over his sexual sins. “I realize now that I handled conflict rather badly. I regret the way that I spoke to him when these issues arose realizing now that being nasty and putting him down did nothing to solve our problems and, in fact, probably added to them.”

“The most important thing I have learned about handling conflict in marriage is that a couple needs to put the problem out in front of them and face it together shoulder to shoulder rather than allowing it to come between them. That is much easier said than done, especially when feelings are badly hurt, but it makes a huge difference.”

Danielle also learned that being a peacekeeper and being a peacemaker are two entirely different ways to approach conflict. “Most of our married life, I was a peacekeeper, burying my pain and anger and striving to live as if nothing was wrong. That did not resolve the underlying issues that had little to do with me and much more to do with his upbringing, his addictive personality, and the fact that he had not completely surrendered himself to the Lord. When we addressed those issues together, we became a team fighting for our marriage in a whole new way.”