Lesson 61

What If My Husband Asks Me To Keep This Confidential?

Kay was very aware of her role in setting the emotional temperature in her home. “Like most women, I am great at talking and even better at emoting! If I were asked, I could tell you how I feel at any given moment. I am still a work in progress and wish I never said harsh words, especially to my husband, but I know God isn’t finished with me yet.”

When she found her husband’s stash of pornography, she was certainly ready to emote! It was such a surprise and she didn’t really have a sense of what to do next or to whom she should talk about this issue. The only thing she knew was that she wanted her husband to get rid of it permanently. Although her husband agreed to go with her locally to their pastor and then see a marriage counselor in a neighboring town, he asked her not to talk about his sin with the people they knew.

Kay recalls the challenge it was to honor her husband’s request. “One of the most difficult things I did for my husband was to protect his anonymity with our friends and family. If any of them know about his sexual impurity, it is not because I said anything to any of them. I know our pastor knows because he recommended our counselor to us. I realized a long time ago that I process my emotions and problems through talking and expressing myself. You can see that this crisis in our marriage would be hard for someone like me to keep quiet. Yet, I promised my husband I would, and I did.” Kay reports that her husband worked at restoring her trust and their marriage is now better than ever!