Lesson 64

How Can I Work With My Husband To Set Boundaries?

It can be very difficult to set boundaries in marriage. However, God set boundaries for us and we should also set them for ourselves to live godly, obedient lives. If our husbands ask us to do something we know is sinful, we must nicely (but firmly) resist from participating in that sin. For example, some husbands have asked their wives to watch pornography with them. That is inappropriate for a marriage where God-given sex is all about giving pleasure to one another, not about watching others have intimate relations.

It’s important to control our flesh through setting boundaries. When we break out of a sinful mindset, we are more attuned to God’s voice and His will. Beth knew that her husband came to an instant realization that his involvement with pornography was sinful, but his journey to freedom developed over time, along with setting boundaries and finding solutions. “I let my husband take the lead in setting boundaries,” Beth recalled. “I had to trust that he was genuine in his desire to be free and he would know the areas where he was most tempted and what solutions would be helpful as opposed to being oppressive. He researched options for a web protection program on his computer and mobile devices. We discussed the plan and implemented it together.” They also added spiritual disciplines that included more prayer and Bible study as a couple, as well as more scheduled time together for open communication. He found an accountability group for himself with other godly men to focus on his commitment as he built new attitudes and habits.